Damn You #craftbeer, Why Have You Forsaken Me!!!

Posted: May 22, 2013 in Rambing on about nothing in particular
Tags: , , ,

So, I have been enjoying craft beer for quite a long time now…it has been going on for so long now that I have forgotten about a bunch of beers and places I have gone to a decade ago (my first real craft beer experience was the Milwaukee Ale House in Milwaukee WI in 2000).  When I really started to realize that there was more to life than cheap beer, I was running 3-4 miles per day…rain or shine…sober or drunk.   At the pinnacle of my running days, I was a lean (LOL) 200 pounds and running a 8 minute mile (on average).   Also, at the time, I worked with a bunch of people who were also runners, so I was joining a lot of local 5K races and killing post race parties.    My highlight race was the Erie County Fair 5K where I posted my best official time of 24.16.   Needless to say, I was still a big guy but just in decent shape.   Unfortunately, in 2003 I had hurt my knee pretty bad and was never the same again.  I took up running again in 2006 for about a month when it happened again.   Since then, I have been a lazy piece of crap…..

Fast forward to today…with the amount of retarded travelling I do, plus a 3 year old on top of it, I had amassed enough excuses to continue to be a fat ass.   Well, time to shit or get off the pot!!!  I am not getting any younger or lighter..time to start getting my shit back into shape.  My wife said to me “You could stop drinking beer”….LOL.  (shes adorable…)  While I am not giving up my beloved beers, I do need to start turning this weight thing in the other direction.


  • Better Health
  • Longer Life
  • Better Body

I guess…but here is my real motivation.   http://buffalozombiemudrun.com/

Yup…fucking zombies!   Well, zombies and the fact that I saw Daddy Pig run a long distance to raise money for a new school roof (see Peppa Pig)(I have a young child, what do you expect).

So I haven’t officially weighed myself yet but going to assume that I am in the 260-265 pound range. Yup, I said Fat Ass earlier… I am going to publicly humiliate myself (for anybody that gives a shit).  I plan on being to run this 5K and survive…  I will post my progress on this thread.

Plan of Attack:

While it has been years since I have actually ran and have forgotten everything I knew about proper breathing techniques, this is going to be a complete shit show.  I am using this thread as a motivation and way to track my progress (if any).  I plan on doing 2 weeks of One Mile then increasing the distance another half mile every two weeks until I hit the 3 mile mark.  I have downloaded a nice app that tracks my distance, speed, times and GPS mapping.


Day One – 262.0 pounds (thank you Wii fit) – 1 mile run – 12.10 mile with one long stop (well, walk really) along the way.  I realize that I am way way way out of shape.  Although I did remember my proper stretching techniques, it didnt stop the pain.  Above the knees were shot and lower back was throbbing.

Day Two – 1 mile run – 10.35 mile with two stops along the way.  My breathing is a fucking mess but will find my rhythm soon enough.  Again, above the knees are stiff as can be.  I am too old for this shit….but with that being said, was able to push the pace a little faster when I was running…just need to get that steady pace.

Day Three – Tennis – My legs are killing me and got a call from a friend to play Tennis. 90 minutes in the freakin’ heat (88 degrees)…needless to say, my legs are so stiff.

Day Four – Rest Day – My legs are still pretty sore and my ankle is a little stiff. Not to mention that the temperatures dropped about 25 degrees from 3pm to 6pm and the rain moved in.

Day Five – Rest Day (again) – My quads were pretty sore still plus I had like 4 hours of yard work to keep me busy before my Memorial Day Tasting at my house.

Day Six – 1 mile run – 10.50 mile.  Breathing is still a disaster and had some really bad tightness in my left calf muscle.

Day Seven – 1 mile run – 10.08 mile.  Well, I walked about 1.4 miles before I started my run because of my calf still bothering me, then walked then another 1.3 mile cool down jog.  I notice that it takes me less time to get my breathing back under control know, which is a good sign that my lungs are getting better…but breathing needs some better control still.

Day Eight – Day Off…weather sucked outside.

Day Nine – 1.75 miles in the 90 degree heat…just did quarter mile wind sprints to get the ol’ blood flowing.

Mental Note: So I went to GNC inquiring about pills that would act as a multi vitamin and metabolism booster before I started all this….the freaking meathead sold me some weight gaining pills.  I took them back and questioned them  because I couldnt figure out how I started exercising and eating much better, but put on 4 pounds.  Note to GNC, NOT EVRYONE WHO WALKS INTO YOUR STORE IS A STEROID ABUSING MEATHEAD!!!!

Day Ten – Day Off

Day Eleven – Day Off, it was 90 degrees until about 5pm then non stop thunderstorms for 12 straight hours.

Day Twelve – 1 mile run – 10.28 mile.  Breathing still a mess and dragging my ass down…think I am running too fast and not pacing myself better.

Day Thirteen – 4 mile bike ride – although it doesn’t seem all that impressive, try doing it with 40 pounds of dead weight (aka my three year old) hooked onto the back.  Plus, my left knee (which I torched years ago running) is starting to bother me.   Also…weight is at 260.4 pounds, no thanks to GNC meathead weight gaining pills I was taking for the first ten days.

Day Who The Hell Knows…so I havent exactly been updating this thread but thats a me problem, not a you problem. Ive switched my regiment from doing a timed mile to a distance for thirty minutes. My left knee has been bothering me this week, more than just a muscle ache, so Ive been taking it easy but today I did my best 30 minute distance of 2.41 miles of walking / running.

Day Who The Hell Knows +2…changed my motivation music from metal to some classic Weird Al (In 3D) and banged out 2.64 miles in 30 minutes. Boom. My goal is to knock down 5K under 30 minutes by end of July.

Day Who The Hell Knows +4…It must be the Weird Al doing it for me…a new fat guy best of 9.37 first mile and hobbled out 2.80 miles in 30 minutes. I think it is time to register for the Zombie Run and maybe some other 5Ks in the nearer future.

  1. Matt says:

    Go Zombies! You’ll be a tasty feast.

  2. […] overall because I am starting to push myself to get into better shape so that I can run the Buffalo Zombie Run in September.  Please don’t take this to task meaning that I have seen the error of my ways […]

  3. […] as I stated last month, it was time to break off a couple of LBs and get into some sort of shape (even though a pear is a […]

  4. […] begins the third installment of the craft beer guzzling fat guy journal of mine….as stated in the original post that my goal was to not only run in the Buffalo Zombie Run but to survive it.  When I had started […]

  5. […] running goals and motivation are the same as last year, get in better shape, drop more LBs and hopefully survive the Buffalo Zombie Mud run this year.  […]

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